I am always humbled when I read thoughtful researchers who disagree with me. Yale Professor Paul Bloom writes in his controversial book “Against Empathy” that the pendulum has swung too far from overly demanding parents (see his “Tiger Mom” colleague also at Yale) to the snowplow parents of today. Bloom posts that over-parenting harms students in college and their careers. He draws a thoughtful distinction between empathy as an over-protective trait and empathy as a genuine sense of pain when a child or friend feels pain and the equally sincere desire to alleviate that pain by intervening – the save-the-victim complex.
We need not, in brief, apply every band-aide nor prevent every fall. We hurt deeply when the people we love are hurt, but we need not prevent every hurt, whether on the oak tree or at a faculty meeting.
In sum, empathy is an excellent quality, so I take issue with Bloom’s over-generalization. But, he brings me up short when I have placed too much faith in unbridled empathy.