When AI Feels More Welcoming Than School: “Listen more. Judge less.”

May 20, 2026
Contributing Authors: Ann Perez and Dru Tomlin

What does it say about schools when students feel more welcomed by a chatbot than they do at school?

This week’s inspiration comes from the insightful article Bots for Belonging from ASCD as well as conversations from our own Fearless Schools Podcast. As two educators who spent most of their careers working in middle school, we know and understand the importance of belonging. But this is more than a middle school must have; it is a human necessity.

In their article, Culver and Lee challenge schools to return to places of connection rooted in trust, safety, and relationships. They advocate for environments that nurture agency, creativity, and provide ways to really lean into human relationships. Their message is not anti-AI; rather, it reminds us that as technology evolves, human connection matters even more.

That same theme continues to surface in conversations with our podcast guests as we discuss the opportunities and implications of AI for both adults and students.

Some of our favorites that resonate with us:

  • “AI is going to require us to be better humans” – Jen Schwanke
  • “AI is not a cheating machine; it is a quirky thought partner” – Doug Reeves
  • “I don’t ask AI to do creative lesson planning, it needs to be on my fingertips. I think a lot of people just want to get the task done but they are not called to the learning. The role of the teacher is to make the learning valuable, not the task doable.” – Rick Wormeli
  • “Kids are suffering from social skills deficits and we need to do something that meets kids where they are. AI is scary because we don’t always know what kids are getting online. We curated an AI social skills coach where students can rehearse different situations safely. Teachers and parents can use it for role plays …there’s lots of different applications.” – Phyllis Fagel socialplaybook.app

Both in our conversation with Phyllis and in the article itself, there is acknowledgement that relationships built through social networking, online gaming, or even AI chatbots can provide support and connection for students. Yet, despite these digital interactions, students still long for authentic human connection.

Additional caution comes from one of the students interviewed for the article:

“Because AI is programmed to give you what you want to hear, it doesn’t give the honest opinion of a person.”

This brings home the point even stronger for human connection and interaction.

Over and over, we hear a similar message: AI is powerful, useful, and necessary to understand and implement. We should not fear it. But its rise also reminds us that schools must remain places where students feel seen, heard, valued, and connected.

Culver and Lee write:

“Young people are far less afraid of AI because they see it is an extension of the world they’re already living in.”

Pause and reflect deeply on that. Today’s students are digital natives. They have only known a world filled with devices, social media, and instant online access. AI is not something “new” to them; it is simply another layer of their complex reality.

Perhaps the most important reflection is this:

When students state that talking to a bot makes them feel more welcome than they do at school, that is where our work begins.

Belonging is not just a word, and initiative, or an effect size from the research. It lives in the environments we create, the relationships we build, and how we interact with each other, every day.

Article: https://www.ascd.org/el/articles/bots-for-belonging

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